标题: 笑话几则 [打印本页] 作者: Owen 时间: 2012-9-19 09:28 标题: 笑话几则 Patience
Angler: You've been watching me for three hours now. Why don't you try yourself?
Onlooker: I haven't got the patience.
耐 性
垂钓者：你已经盯着看了三个小时了，你干嘛不自己亲自钓呢？
旁观者：我没那耐性。
Bedtime Prayers
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Her mother interrupted and said. "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"
And Julie replyed, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"
睡前祷告词
朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“上帝，求求你，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”
妈妈打断她的话说：“朱莉叶，为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？”
朱莉叶回答道：“因为我在地理考卷上是这样写的。”
Things Have Been Okay
A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, "Mom, the toast is burned."
"You talked! You talked!" Shouted his mother. "I'm so happy! But why has it taked this long?"
"Well, up till now," Said the boy, "things have been okay."
Jimmy started painting when he was three years old, and when he was five, he was already very good at it. He painted many beautiful and interesting pictures, and people paid a lot of money for them. They said, "This boy's going to be famous when he's little older, and then we're going to sell these pictures for a lot more money."
Jimmy's pictures were different from other people's because he never painted on all of the paper. He painted on half of it, and the other half was always empty.
"That's very clever," everyone said, "Nobody else does that!"
One day somebody bought one of Jimmy's pictures and then said to him, "Please tell me this, Jimmy. Why do you paint on the bottom half of your pictures, but not on the top half?"
"Because I'm small," Jimmy said, "and my burshes don't reach very high."
On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I adn our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.
As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Good-by, Mickey."
Our daughter waved and said, "Good-by, Minnie."
My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Good-by, Money."
One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."
The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.
Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!
A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."
Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
Why he couldn't leave? There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally when he was through, there was only one man sitting in the large room. The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room." "Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."他为什么不走? 在一个很多人参加的会议中,刚开始演讲者说得非常有趣,但渐渐地,他说得越来越令人厌烦.结果,当会议结束的时候,大会议室里只剩一个人了. 演讲者走过去跟那个人说:”谢谢你,其他人都走了,只有你还在听我说.” “噢,别客气.”那个人回答说,”我不走,是因为我是下一位演讲者!”爸爸不会喜欢的For FatherA clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off."You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand.""No thanks," said the young man."My father wouldn't like it.""Don't be silly," the minister said."Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!""Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay." 中文翻译：一牧师走在乡村的小路上，看见一个年轻的农夫正在费力地将掉落的干草放回车上。“你看起来很热，我的孩子，”牧师说，“为什么你不歇一会，我会帮助你的。”“不，谢谢了。”年轻人说。“我的爸爸不会喜欢我这样做的。”“别傻了。”牧师说。“每一个人都有权利休息。来喝点水吧。”年轻人再一次坚持他爸爸会生气地。牧师没了耐心，说：“你爸爸一定是个苛刻的监工。告诉我我怎样才能找到他，我要给他上一课。”“好吧。”年轻人回答说。“他在干草的下面。”I am the Driver The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn't let him aboard. "It's too crowded," they shouted. "What do you think you are?" "I'm the driver," he said. 我是司机 一辆公共汽车已经相当拥挤，还有一个人想挤进来，乘客不让他上去。 “太挤了，”他们喊道，“你以为你是谁？” “我是司机。”他回答说。