双语笑话：A Letter from Mom 一封母亲写给孩子的信

djt000

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.（我写的很慢因为我知道你不能读得很快）

We don't live where we did when you left home. （当你离家后我们就不住在原来住的地方了）

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.（因为你爸爸在报纸上看到在你家的20英里附近最容易发生交通事故，所以我们搬家了）

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.（我不可以把这里的地址寄给你，因为上一户住过这里的人家走的时候把门牌号码拿走了，因为这样他们就不必改换住址了）

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine.（这个地方真的很好。甚至连洗衣机都有）

I'm not sure it works too well though.（尽管我不知道它是否能用）

Last week I put a load of your father's shirts in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.（上周我放了一大堆你父亲的衬衣在里面，....，然后就再也没见过它们）

The weather isn't too bad here, it only rained twice last week. （这里的天气也不是太坏，上周只下了两次雨）

The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days.（第一次下了三天，第二次下了四天）

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.（你要我寄给你的那件外套，你叔叔Steve说如果留着上面的扣子的话就有一点重而没法邮寄给你，所以我们把扣子剪下来，把它们放在衣服的口袋里了）

We got another bill from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes.（我们在殡仪馆又有了一张帐单。他们说如果我们不把奶奶坟墓应付的最后一笔钱付清的话，奶奶就自己来取了）

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Sinead out.（John昨晚把他的钥匙锁在车里了 我们很担心因为他用了两个小时把我和Sinead弄出来）

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle.（你姐姐今天怀孕了，但是我还不知道它是什么，所以我不知道你到底会是个阿姨还是叔叔）

If the baby is a girl your sister is going to name it after me; she's going to call it Mom.（如果这个孩子是女孩，你姐姐准备让它与我同名，她准备叫它妈妈）

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. （你的peter叔叔上周掉进威士忌大缸里了）

Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned.（几个男人试图把他拉出来，但是他击退了他们，然后淹没在缸里）

We had him cremated and he burned for three days.（我们把他火化了，他烧了三天）

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. （你的三个朋友跟着一辆轻型货车掉进河里了）

Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety.（Ralph驾驶着车，他摇下车窗玻璃，游到了安全的地方）

Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.（你的另两个朋友在后面，他们淹死了因为他们没办法摇下卡车的后挡板）

Your father got his appendix out two weeks ago and got in a new sink.（你的爸爸两个星期前切除了盲肠并且装了一根新的肠子进去）

There isn't much more news at this time girl. Nothing much has happened.（这个时候没有更多的新闻了孩子，发生的事情非常少）

Love,

Mom

PS - I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.（另外，我原本准备寄一些钱给你的，但是信封已经密封好了）

sweety

呵呵，笑过

boao-fm

感觉这些笑话有点冷。