“戳穿”名人演讲六大经典套路

飞杨

丘吉尔曾受邀在某校毕业典礼上讲话。在校长冗长的介绍后，他只说了一句话：”永远，永远，永远不要放弃。”(Never, never, never give up.)就走下讲台。这被称为历史上最短的毕业演讲。其实，这是一个误传。丘吉尔1941年在哈罗公学演讲时提到过这句话，但过程却并没有这么传奇。

每到毕业季，各大高校都会请来名人给毕业生做演讲。当这样的演讲多了，其内容不仅算不上传奇，甚至可能难免俗套。本期我们就来一起看看吧。

【名人演讲第一招：套近乎】

演讲之初先要营造轻松的氛围，演讲者们深谙这个道理，于是各种开场方式悉数登场。

09届的同学们！你们的掌声在哪里？(拉里·佩奇)

Class of 2009! I don’t think I heard you. (Larry Page)

谢谢大家，谢谢弗吉尼亚(主持人)那么卖力地推销我。我一度以为她在介绍别人呢。(蒂姆·库克)

Thank you for that nice reception and thank you Virginia for the incredible introduction. I thought some of them were about somebody else. (Tim Cook)

我想说的第一句话是”谢谢”。不仅因为哈佛给了我这样非同一般的荣誉，还因为一想到今天的演讲，我就紧张恐惧、茶饭不思，几个星期下来竟然减肥成功。(J·K·罗琳)

The first thing I would like to say is “thank you”. Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honor, but the weeks of fear and nausea I’ve experienced at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. (J.K. Rowling)

【名人演讲第二招：自嘲】

自嘲几乎是大部分名人演讲的必杀技。不过注意哦，这种自嘲有时候可能是一种变相的吹嘘。

我十分清楚你们现在坐在台下的感受：听我们这些老家伙絮叨，老生常谈。(拉里·佩奇)

I know exactly what it feels like to be sitting in your seat, listening to some old gasbag give a long-winded commencement speech. (Larry Page)

去年登上这个讲台的，是拥有亿万身家的小说家罗琳女士，她最早是一个古典文学的学生。前年站在这里的是比尔·盖茨先生，他是一个超级富翁、慈善家和电脑高手(nerd)。今年很遗憾，你们的演讲人是我。虽然我不像他们那么有钱，但至少我也算一个高手(nerd还有”笨蛋”的意思)。(朱棣文)

Last year, J.K. Rowling, the billionaire novelist, who started as a classics student, graced this podium. The year before, Bill Gates, the mega-billionaire philanthropist and computer nerd stood here. Today, sadly, you have me. I am not wealthy, but at least I am a nerd. (Steven Chu)

我为今天在座的各位同学感到高兴，你们拿到学位可比我容易多了。我值得称道的也只有被哈佛的校报称作”哈佛大学历史上最成功的辍学生”了。我想这大概使我有资格代表我这一类学生发言……在所有的失败者里，我做得最好。(比尔·盖茨)

I applaud the graduates today for taking a much more direct route to your degrees. For my part, I’m just happy that the Crimson has called me “Harvard’s most successful dropout”. I guess that makes me valedictorian of my own special class…I did the best of everyone who failed. (Bill Gates)

【名人演讲第三招：哭穷】

功成名就的演讲者们肯定少不了要分享下自己过去辛酸的经历，好让台下的学子们”开心开心”。

(从里德学院退学后)我无法再住宿舍，所以只能借宿在朋友房间的地板上，我去捡5美分一个的可乐瓶，以此赚钱来购买食物，我会在每个周日走上7英里，穿过小城，到克利须那神庙，只为晚上那顿一周一次的美餐。(史蒂夫·乔布斯)

(After I dropped out of Reed College) I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5-cent deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. (Steve Jobs)

毕业7年之后，我遭遇了彻底的失败。我那极其短暂的婚姻走到了尽头，再加上失业，作为一个单身母亲，我沦落到穷困潦倒的境地，就差无家可归了。(J·K·罗琳)

A mere 7 years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. (J.K. Rowling)

我那时什么工作都做，剥过牡蛎、做过迎宾、酒保、服务员、粉刷房子、卖吸尘器，我完全不知道自己想做什么。我只想随便找个工作糊口，能有钱付得起房租就行。(艾伦·德杰尼勒斯)

I did everything. I shucked oysters, I was a hostess, I was a bartender, I was a waitress, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners, I had no idea. And I thought I’d just finally settle in some job, and I would make enough money to pay my rent. (Ellen DeGeneres)

【名人演讲第四招：挫折与抉择】

几乎每个成功人士的背后，好像都至少有一次面临挫折和抉择，然后绝处逢生的经历。

[挫折篇]

我等待着希望听到蔡尔兹教授告诉我我的论文写得多么好。但他没有。于是等了45分钟后，我终于开口问，”那你怎么评价我的写作呢？” “这么说吧，”他说。”千万不要靠这个谋生。”(迈克尔·刘易斯)

I listened and waited for Professor Childs to say how well written my thesis was. He didn’t. And so after about 45 minutes I finally said, “So. What did you think of the writing?” “Put it this way,” he said. “Never try to make a living at it.” (Michael Lewis)

那一年，我被炒了鱿鱼。你怎么可能被自己创立的公司炒鱿鱼？是这样的，在苹果快速成长的时候，我们雇了一个我觉得很有天分的家伙和我一起管理公司，最初几年，公司运转得很好。但后来我们对未来的看法发生了分歧，最终吵了起来。面对不可调和的分歧，董事会站在了他那一边。(史蒂夫·乔布斯)

And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. (Steve Jobs)

那时我想，最惨的会是什么呢？也就是失业吧。结果，我真的失业了。我的节目在做了6年后，没有告知我就停播了，我看了报纸才知道。家里的电话3年没有再响过，没人找我做节目，没人愿意提及我。(艾伦·德杰尼勒斯)

And I thought, “What’s the worst that could happen? I can lose my career.” I did. I lost my career. The show was canceled after 6 years, without even telling me, I read it in the paper. The phone didn’t ring for 3 years. I had no offers. Nobody wanted to touch me at all. (Ellen DeGeneres)

[抉择篇]

我当时的东家康柏公司是当时全球最大的个人电脑生产商。我咨询一位CEO朋友的意见，他坚定地说，我脑袋被驴踢了才会为了苹果(当时还是一个很小的公司)离开康柏。(蒂姆·库克)

My employer at the time, Compaq Computer, was the largest personal computer company in the world. One CEO I consulted felt so strongly about it. He told me I would be a fool to leave Compaq for Apple (a small company then). (Tim Cook)

我打电话给我父亲，告诉他我要辞掉这个百万美元的工作来写一本只有4万美元预付款的书。电话那边沉默了很久。他说：”也许你该再考虑一下。”我根本不需要考虑。(迈克尔·刘易斯)

I called up my father. I told him I was going to quit this job that now promised me millions of dollars to write a book for an advance of 40 grand. There was a long pause on the other end of the line. “You might just want to think about that,” he said. I didn’t need to think about it. (Michael Lewis)

16年前，我萌生了创办亚马逊的想法。那时我刚刚30岁，结婚才1年。我告诉妻子想辞去工作，然后去做这件疯狂而且很可能失败的事情。她告诉我，我应该放手一搏。(杰夫·贝索斯)

I got the idea to start Amazon 16 years ago. I had just turned 30 years old, and I’d been married for a year. I told my wife that I wanted to quit my job and go do this crazy thing that probably wouldn’t work. She told me I should go for it. (Jeff Bezos)

【名人演讲第五招：温情回归】

每当提到自己的家人，演讲者们都是充满自豪感和温情的。此情此景，常常令人动容。

我父亲是如此的充满生命力，与他在一起做任何事都是一种探险。(兰迪·波许)

My dad was so full of life; anything with him was an adventure. (Randy Pausch)

很久以前，1962年的寒冷9月，这座校园里有一家史蒂文消费合作社，学生志愿者负责打扫厨房的天花板。想象这样一幅场景：一位名叫格洛里亚的女大学生，爬上了高高的梯子，努力地打扫那脏兮兮的天花板。另一位名叫卡尔的寄宿生站在地上，对此情此景钦佩不已。这是他俩的初次邂逅。他们就是我的父母。(拉里·佩奇)

A long time ago, in this cold September of 1962, there was a Steven’s co-op at this very university. That co-op had a kitchen with a ceiling that had been cleaned by student volunteers. Picture a college girl named Gloria, climbing up high on a ladder, struggling to clean that filthy ceiling. Standing on the floor, a young boarder named Carl was admiring the view. And that’s how they met. They were my parents. (Larry Page)

我得到诺贝尔奖的时候，我想我妈妈会高兴。但是我错了。消息公布的那天早上，我给她打电话，她听了只说：”这是好消息，不过我想知道，你打算什么时候来看我？”(朱棣文)

When I was awarded a Nobel Prize, I thought my mother would be satisfied. Not so. When I called her on the morning of the announcement, she replied, “That’s nice, but when are you going to visit me next.” (Steven Chu)

【名人演讲第六招：引经据典】

他们演讲时说的话经常被我们拿来当励志名言，但其实呢，他们自己也需要励志名言。

电影《我的朋友叫哈维》中，斯图尔特扮演的艾尔伍德说得很对。他说：”多年前，母亲曾对我说：活在这个世界上，你要么做一个聪明人，要么做一个好人。”我做聪明人已经好多年了。但我推荐你们做好人。(朱棣文)

Jimmy Stewart, as Elwood P. Dowd in the movie “Harvey” got it exactly right. He said: “Years ago my mother used to say to me, ‘In this world, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.’” Well, for years I was smart… I recommend pleasant. (Steven Chu)

17岁的时候, 我读到一句话: “如果你把每一天都当作生命中最后一天去生活的话,那么有一天你会发现你是正确的。”"记住你即将死去”是我一生中遇到的最重要箴言。它帮我做出生命中的重要抉择。(史蒂夫·乔布斯)

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. (Steve Jobs)

他(乔恩·史诺地)告诉我，给人们足够的时间，人人都会有让你惊讶和叹服的一面。他说，当你对别人怨恼愤怒时，你只是还没有给他们足够的时间。(兰迪·波许)

One of the things he (Jon Snoddy) told me was to wait long enough and people will surprise and impress you. He said when you’re pissed off at somebody and you’re angry at them, you just haven’t given them enough time. (Randy Pausch)

最后，本文将以这些演讲者原创或引用的语录作为结束语：

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

求知若渴，虚心若愚。(史蒂夫·乔布斯引用凯文·凯利)

Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.

经验是你求之不得后的收获。(兰迪·波许)

Never lose the child-like wonder.

永远不要失去孩童般的好奇心。(兰迪·波许)

Your critics are your ones telling you they still love you and care.

批评你的人是在告诉你他们仍然爱你关心你。(兰迪·波许)

As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.

人生就像故事：不在于长短，而在于质量，这才是最重要的。(J·K·罗琳引用塞内加)

Insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.

精神错乱是指一遍遍地重复却期待不一样的结果。(蒂姆·库克引用爱因斯坦)

Be true to yourself and everything will be fine.

做真实的你，一切都会没事的。(艾伦·德杰尼勒斯)